HERNE BAY
The Little Restaurant on the Prom
A childhood memoir of life before polio, and immediately after, and my magical childhood adventures in and out of a wheelchair
Johnny Oplett
Johnny Oplett was a huge colossus of a boy, standing well over 6 foot tall, and that was bare footed! His deep-set eyes and huge cheekbones gave him an almost skeletal look. Rumour has it that he hit a teacher so hard that it sent him crashing over six desks. To cross Johnny`s path was not a very good idea. Yet, he had a soft spot for me: "Anyone you want sortin` out, Paul, just give the word." I was even afraid to turn down this offer and mentally tallied up my enemies. I really hadn't got any, at least not anyone deserving enough to unleash Johnny's mighty, shovel-like, fists upon.
Johnny sat on a large, throne-like armchair, on top of the, as yet, unlit, bonfire. He bellowed out orders through a huge cardboard tube. "Right, you two get that old sofa over 'ere and don't take all day about it; stack them chairs up good and high. I said fuckin' stack 'em. You need plenty of air circulatin` under `em. We want to get a good blaze goin' tonight!"
Boys from all over Herne Bay were at his bidding. This was to be the biggest bonfire yet. The biggest, hugest, bonfire on that piece of waste land - today it’s a car-park opposite Safeways - that Herne Bay had ever known. Johnny was on the job and you didn't say `no` to Johnny. I was that "crippled kid" so I was let off. He didn't say, "That crippled kid" to my face in case I got upset. I didn't care what people said. I was a crippled kid and it didn't bother me. It bothered other people, though…but not me.
The last I heard of Johnny Oplett was that he had married. He married a lady who was almost as fierce as he was. When he and his wife went to see his old mum for a family reunion, his brothers who were also big but not as huge as Johnny, had an understanding: "You don't swear in front of Mum." Johnny's wife was apparently famous for her expletives, especially the f.word, and she, Johnny's missus, didn't give a tuppenny toss what she said and let Johnny know in no uncertain terms that she would not be verbally bound over to keep the peace. When they pulled up in front of the house, she still refused to "f…ing" conform. Johnny laid her out with a single blow. He left her, still unconscious, in the car, whilst he enjoyed the family get-together.
Johnny's father used to run a second-had shop in the High Street, near the corner with Bank Street. He was a large gentleman who habitually wore an old, brown trilby hat. He would fill the whole doorway with his bulk. I bought my first clarinet from him. When Mr Stenning, my music teacher, saw it he raised his eyes to heaven. "What is this?" he demanded. "A clarinet", I said. "It's from out of the ark. I can't teach you on this?" Mr Oplett had sold me that clarinet in all good faith. He and I didn't know the first thing about clarinets. Mr Stenning did.
[previous] [contents] [next]
[Return to Home Page]
|
