WHEN I WAS AN ARCADE CASHIER
I was surrounded
By pyramids of pennies;
Entombed in
A glass booth
Like an Houdini death-trap,
Bashing out change
To the arcade punters.
A little girl approached.
She looked up at me,
Eyes wide with wonder:
“What does it do?” she said.
It dawned on me:
She thought I was a machine!
Using my best Darlek dialect
I replied:
“Put your penny
Through the hole
In the glass.”
Without hesitation
She plunged her tiny hand
Into her tiny, plastic purse
And produced a penny.
She pushed it through the hole.
Doing impressions of a robot
I mechanically picked up the penny.
I then did the best
‘Laughing Policeman’ send-up
That I’d ever done:
I roared with laughter
My face like a ripe plum,
I swayed this way and that
Jerking like an idiot.
I reasoned that a full
Minute was enough
And came to an abrupt end.
I was shattered!
The little girl was dazed
With dizzy amazement,
Her eyes as wide as her mouth.
She paused.
Then plunging her hand
Into her tiny plastic purse
She produced yet another…penny.
Three pennies
Was all she had,
Three pennies
Was all I needed
For my first professional
Engagement!
First broadcast on BBC Radio MEDWAY.
And requested on BBC Radio 4’s POETRY PLEASE.
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