FINDING THE BALANCE
(Published also in the book STRANGER ON THE THRESHOLD)
Dignity finds its own balance with the individual self. It is
only an expression of self. We all need a piece of dignity to function
in this world. Just as we also need a piece of ego. They all find their
own level of function. Their own balance.
When I was 7-years-old and caught polio this left me with
withered legs (my left leg more than my right), a beer belly because I
had lost my tummy muscles, my right arm was thin but my left arm
normal. I had a double curvature of the spine resulting in my having to
wear a spinal brace.
When I reached 13 I started taking notice of girls. I was asked
to strip off in front of the doctors and nurses. I didn't mind that.
They were all old and getting on a bit. But I did mind stripping off in
front of a 17-year-old student nurse who was rather attractive! I was
too young to know anything about dignity and how it functioned. I
wanted to look, well, normal, in front of this pretty nurse. And there
was I, almost in the buff, looking like a young (Good looking?)
Quasimodo and there was she looking like a young Desdemona. I didn't
know where to hide!
Later on, I learned that you don't have to walk straight, don't
have to have a fabulous body, in order to 'turn heads'. What you do
need is a sense of humour and character that causes you to laugh at
what the eternal has dished out to you. A don't care attitude. You have
to develop this, of course.
Dignity works on ALL levels. "Walk tall and with dignity," I
hear the writers say. I need dignity to walk at all! Well, not that
much, bring out dignity and brush it off for special occasions, but
don't let it chain you, don't let it enslave you. Remember balance in
all things. Otherwise you fall over!
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